Oct 7, 2012 / 2 notes

I don’t want to

Today I noticed that my dog’s one eye is going bad.  She’s been bumping into things and I get really sad.  When you’ve had a dog for 13 years it’s hard to see your life without her, but I don’t want to think about that.  She is always so great and she makes me laugh all the time the way she randomly rolls in the grass after I give her a bath.  I’m freaking out about college apps.  Not liking how xc season is coming so close to the end.  And I don’t want to stop just being at home.  I love it here.  I’m scared of leaving my friends and of them leaving me.  I just want to….idk…stop time.  Stay now forever. Practice my cello all day. See friends whenever and have dinner with my amazing family. I just can’t…I’m tired and scared. I take each day for granted and never stop to thank the One who makes it all happen. I’m sorry for how I never show gratitude to God or ever show Him through my character.  I’m sorry.  I’m terrified of the next year, but at the same time excited to see my young and old friends grow and accomplish things.  What am I going to do when I can’t run anymore because I’m not fast enough?  Cello is amazing, but I don’t think I can survive without running on a team.  You make the most amazing connections with those people.  You run and you don’t have to say anything. You just know that that person is there and they are running for you just as much as you are running for them. Gosh, running has changed my life. I’m so happy I decided to try in in 6th grade. If I have to crawl to that line to qualify for state, I’m doing it. It’s time to finally get serious, after 7 years I’m determined to be great in something I wasn’t built to do.

  1. fezzers posted this